Something's Missing
Joe is bright, talented, and creative, but doesn't seem to have any direction and runs with a group of other teenage boys who always seem to be in trouble. His parents are naturally perplexed. His father works for a large legal firm, serves on the city council, and is involved with numerous other civic organizations. His mother owns her own business, and leads a major charitable outreach in the community.
Although mother and father are often not there when Joe gets home from school, they make sure he is well fed, well clothed, well educated, and given every advantage he needs to succeed. The problem is that he does not seem to have any desire to succeed. He does not seem to appreciate the good education his parents have provided, and exhibits little ambition. He only seems interested in staying up all night playing video games, and engaging in mischief with his friends. Something's missing.
His parents have threatened, they have warned, and they have taken away privileges. They have sent Joe to various counselors, to specialized summer "boot camps" for boys, and have reminded him repeatedly of how fortunate he is to attend such a fine school. But none of it succeeds in motivating Joe to change his behavior and act responsibly.
Transactional Analysis thinking would maintain that Joe has an Incomplete Parent Ego. An Incomplete Parent Ego state develops when an individual has one or more parents who are physically, emotionally, or psychologically absent. This parental absence may come as the result of death, desertion, or an over-investment in work or other pursuits.
The person operating from an Incomplete Parent Ego structure may be continually seeking for a "parent" in another person. They may find themselves repeatedly drawn to people who will assertively and aggressively evaluate, criticize, and direct their life and behavior in a way similar to the Critical Parent Ego state. Or on the other hand, they may seek a Nurturing Parent Ego who will comfort, encourage, and indulge them.
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